The End of the 00s The Decade In Netflix Instant Watch, by Alex Pareene – The Awl

byTheEndofthe?

00s

TheseareallofthethingsIhavewatchedontheNetflixInstantWatchinthisdecade,inchronologicalorder。

LettheRightOneInThiswasgood!

Ilikedthis。

TheAmericanversionwillbeterrible。

ItissetinLittleton,right?

UGH。

So?

dumb。

Some30RockEpisodesIdidn’twatchthiswhenitfirstcameon,sothefirstseasonwasveryeye-opening!

Specificallybecauseofcharactersandcompetentplotting!

Theykindajumpedfrom“SimpsonsSeason2or3”to“SimpsonsSeason11”inthecourseofliterallytwoseasons。

Also:Josh!

Therewasfunnystufftobedonewiththischaracter,whydidyou?

stop?

BottleRocketHoldsup。

So?

good。

NationalTreasure:BookofSecretsBetterthanthefirstone,def(thoughIwatchedthefirstoneonbasiccable,socommercialsmight’veruinedthemeticulousplotting)。

The“SneakingintoBuckinghamPalace”scenewassuccessfullyintentionallyamusing!

SomeMontyPythonepisodesThesearejust,like,comfortfood,now,whichisactuallykindaweirdandmissingthepoint,whenyouthinkabout?

it。

SpiesLikeUsComediesusedtobepacedsodifferently!

ButLandisisbasicallyoneofthefinestAmericandirectorsaliveandhisten-year“AnimalHouse”to“ComingtoAmerica”stretchisunfuckwithable(thoughyeahthatera’sLampoonboomerassholeattitudeand’60sworship/contemptcanbeincrediblyoff-puttingandunpleasantandit’sallveryReagany)。

ChevyChase’sjerkroutinehasagedmuchbetterthanAckroyd’snerd,thoughAckroydisinarguablyafinercomedian,intermsof?

craft。

BatmanReturnsThebestBatmanmovieandprobablymyfavoritesuperheromovie。

Theclimaxisactuallygenuinelybeautiful,withthesnowandthesadpenguinarmy?

—?

maybeElfman’sbestwork?

too?

ThefirstepisodeofTheLeagueofGentlemenDidn’treally“get”?

it。

SwingVoteOh,man,wasthisfuckingmovieconfused。

Costnerwasgood。

Actually,everyonewasgood!

Butinserviceofwhat?

exactly?

EnchantedDelightful!

Seriously!

TheBrothersSolomonHad?

moments。

PartyDownThisshowisprettygood!

SadthatJaneLynchleftfortheothershowthatI’llnever,ever?

watch。

NoisesOff!

Itisprettyhackytosay“alaughoutloudcomedy”butthismoviemakesmelaughoutloud。

(RIPSuperman!

Youarereallygoodinthis!

Suchagreatcast!

Bogdanovichdoesscrewballbetterthananyoneelsebecauseheunderstandsscrewball!

)

SaboteurDorothyParkerco-wroteit。

PrettygoodvintageHitchcock,occasionallygreat,butyeahifithadactuallystarredGaryCooperandBarbaraStanwycklikehewanteditwouldbeoneofhisbestfilmsperiod。

(LovepicaresquemadcapHitchso?

much。

)

EightminutesofoneCSI:MiamiEpisodeYeahthatjokeisn’tfunny?

anymore。

TwoCharlesinChargeepisodes,forsomereason?

Huh。

KipperThisischildren’scartoonaboutadogandhisfriends。

Mylittlebrotherusedtowatchit。

It’sveryslowandquietandgentleandIlikethatinakid’scartoon(Spielberg?

—?

whointroducedchildrentoironywithTinyToonsandAnimaniacs?

—?

hasaLOTtoanswer?

for。

)

TheMuppetsTakeManhattanDelightful!

AlsoAWESOMEperiodfootageofNewYorkallovertheplace。

Liza!

ElliottGould!

JoanRiversisawesomeinthisas?

well。

AcrosstheUniverseUgh!

LoveyouJulieTaymorbut?

UGH!

ManonWireYeahbasicallyeveryonewasrightaboutthismovie?

wow。

PersepolisSo?

good!

LeonardCohen:I’mYourManIwishitwaseasiertofast-forwardontheInstantWatch。

BecauseIcouldn’tgetthroughthis,becauseof?

Bono。

TheGoodGermanI?

“commercial”Soderberghanddespise“artsy”Soderberghbutyeahthisturnedouttobeareallyinterestingexperimentthatisperfectlycast。

Asanethicalwhateveritdoesn’tregister,likeatall,butasbasicallyanextendedhomagetomyfavoritefilmever(“ThirdMan,”obv)itisdefwatchable。

Oh,BeauBridgesisreallygoodinthis!

TheSpanishPrisonerYeah,Mamet。

It’s?

Mamet。

AnalyzeThisOk,theLandisbitmight’vetippedyouofftothefactthatIfind“commercialcomedies”tobeanartformjustliketheFrenchpeopleallthoughtthosedumbb-movieswereactuallyagenre。

AndHaroldRamis:thisman,heisamazing。

Like,veryfewpeopledoitbetter!

Hollywoodhasbasicallystoppedmakingthesemoviesnow,though,sohehadtopretendtobeApatowtogethislastmovie?

done。

TheProducers(themusical)WhydidIwatchthis?

Ok,Iwillsaythis:thematerialissostrongthattheinitialofficescene(YOU’REGOINGTOJUMPONME!

)isstillthefunniestfuckingthingintheworldevenwhenit’sBroderickandLanedoingthefilmequivalentofa“lip?

dub。



LittleShopofHorrorsHah。

Yeah。

Stillprettydamngood,andit’shilarioustomethatacoupleyearslaterDisneyhadAshmanandMenkendoingOscar-winning“serious”versionsofthestufftheywerebeingallkitschyandgayaboutinthe’80s。

OneofthesongsbasicallyIS“PartofYour?

World。



HighSchoolMusical3:SeniorYearWatchedthisinthemiddleofthenightonmutewhilelisteningto,Ithink,Neko?

Case?

TheIronGiantYeahImissedthisonebackintheday。

BradBirdisobvananimationgeniusbutIthinkJohnLasseterandAndrewStantonactuallymakemoviesthatarebothfunnierandhavemore“heart”withoutfeelingkindaemotionallymanipulative?

(Thoughallfilmmakingisemotionalmanipulationobviouslybutstill。

)Thisisprobablyjust?

me。

VantagePointSoIsawatrailerforthisandIwaslike“ohmanadumbthrillerstarringDennisQuaidwithasuperobviousgimmickIamTHERE。

”AndthenIwatcheditandbasicallyithitthebuttons!

DennisQuaidwas?

intense!

Eve’sBeachFantasyYouknowthe“Ironicpornpurchaseleadstounironicejaculation”Onionstory?

Yeah,no,onlymadeitthroughtwominutesofthisbeforegetting?

bored。

MarchofthePenguinsAndthenwewatched“MarchofthePenguins”andmygirlfriend,whowasalittledrunk,beganweeping,becauseofdeadbabypenguins。

MiloandOtisSoIturnedthisontostopthe?

weeping。

ArthurLove?

it。

ArmageddonEh。

Itshouldbesomuchbetter。

BruceWillisasoil-drillingspacecowboy,castofhilarious’90smisfits…MichaelBayisnoRolandEmmerich。

TheLastBoyScoutIwassortahopingIcouldrewatchthisanddiscoverthatitwasactuallyasecretlyunderratedexampleofanotherofmyfavoritegenres,the“late-’80searly-’90sbigbudgetactionfilmthatisreallywellconstructedactually”(or“DieHard”filmsbasically)butitkindofmeanders。

Hassomegreatmomentsthough,andbasicallyIwillliterallywatchBruceWillisinanything。

TonyScotthasmademoregoodfilmsthanhisdeadbeatbrother,whohasmadelikethree,maybe。

MichaelKamenscore?

too!

TheEdgeClassic。

Whyisn’tthisbasicallytalkedaboutallthetime,asoneofthebestmoviesever?

Itshouldbe。

Thisisamovieannoyingpeopleshouldquoteallthetime,liketheydowithGlengarry。

TheHuntforRedOctoberYouknowtheHaroldRamisthing,earlier?

WellJohnMcTiernanistheHaroldRamisofkickassbig-budgetactionmovies。

Buttheirerapassed,andhelosthismind,sortof。

Itisa?

shame。

PinguThisisgreat!

Itisstop-motionpenguinantics。

ItisScandinavianorsomething,I?

think?

StepBrothersHah,yeah,thismovieishilarious。

StateandMainMamet,again!

Itis?

Mamet。

LastActionHeroYeesh。

Whathappenedhere?

Whathappenedhereisthatwhatshould’vebeenactuallyareallyinventiveandhilariousdeconstructionofthegenrebecameakindofclumsyandonlyoccasionallyamusingdeconstructionofthegenrewithanreallyannoyingkidinit。

WhodecidedfuckingSchwarzeneggershouldbeplayingtheWillisrole?

The“ShaneBlackEra”wasaweird?

time。

FaerieTaleTheatre:ThreeLittlePigsStarringBillyCrystal,JeffGoldblum,ValeriePerrine,DorisRoberts,FredWillardandStephen?

Furst。

OneepisodeofRippingYarnsThisislikea“BritishPublicSchool”joke,soIdon’treallygetit,butitis?

funny。

MultiplicityMichaelKeaton!

Thedefinitionof“goodineverything。

”Isheback?

yet?

FeedHah,thiswasanAMAZINGmovieaboutanAustralianinternetcopwho…travelstoAmerica,totakedowntheoperatorofawebsitethatfeaturesfatwomenbeingfedtodeath。

Itis,wow。

Youshouldwatchthis,probably,ifyouHAVETHESTOMACHFORIT。

Thevillainislike“thepoorman’sChristianBaledoinganimpressionofthepoorman’sOwen?

Wilson。



SupermanIIPrettygreat。

Itwasthe,uh,theRichardLester?

version。

QuarantineThismoviemadenodamnsense。

Maybetheoriginalforeignonewassupercoolbutsometimeswhenyouhavetheseshot-for-shotremakesbasicallyyouarelike“maybethatjustseemedcoolbecauseitwasforeign。



DaylightHah,thisoneiskindofagem。

ViggoMortensen!

TheblackguydiesbuttheDOGsurvives!

Theydon’tmakethemlikethis?

anymore!

TheComediansofComedy:TheMovieEh,it’scomedy。

(Andlotsofself-congratulation。

)

The13thWarriorOhman,IwatchedthisbecauseofJohnMcTiernan,andthenitturnedoutthatMichaelCrichtontookoverdirectingandruinedit(uncredited)becausepresumablyMcTiernanwastryingtomakehisutternonsenseintosomethingawesome。

HereisareallycuriousWikipediasentence:“IronicallythisfilmcameoutthesameyearasanotherfilmcalledBeowulf,butthisisnotthefirsttimethishashappened。

”Ohman,anotherone:“TheoriginalsoundtrackwascomposedbyGraemeRevellandfeaturedtheDeadCanDancesingerLisaGerrard。

ThescorewasrejectedbyMichaelCrichtonandwasreplacedbyonecomposedbyCrichton’susualcollaborator,JerryGoldsmith。

”See?

Whatcould’ve?

been!

Dreamscape:SpecialEditionWhyisthereaSpecialEditionofthisoddlittlemovie?

Anyway?

—?

MaxvonSydowandChristopherPlummer。

BestbitmightactuallybethatEddie“OliverfromGreenAcres”AlbertplaystheReaganypresident?

BatmanRobinLol,irony,etc?

etc。

MastersofHorror:JoeDante:TheScrewflySolutionJoeDanteshouldhaveatleastpartofthecareerthatSamRaimiiscurrentlyenjoying,buttheygavehimthatLooneyTunesmovieandhemadeitsomethingclosertoChuckJonesthanSpaceJamandtheycouldn’treallymarketittoanyone,sonowhedoes…this?

ThislittleShowtimeanthologyshowissuperawesomeintheory,cuzshortishfilmsbyawesomegenredirectorsisself-evidentlyawesome,butpremiumcablebudgetmeans“youareexpectedtotakeJasonPriestleyseriously。

”Priestleyaside,thisisgoodclever?

fun。

MastersofHorror:JohnLandis:DeerWomanLandisworksbetterwiththeaforementioned“premiumcablebudget”thanDanteandtheresultisaprettyfunnylittlemoviewithasurprisinglygoodperformancefromBrianfucking?

Benben。

JohnCarpenter:CigaretteBurnsThiswasgood!

IloveJohnCarpenter!

Itisbasicallyalotlike“IntheMouthofMadness”whichisALSOreallygood,thoughthisoneisabitgoofier,because,like,ok,it’samovieaboutTHEMOSTINTENSEANDIMMORALMOVIEEVERMADE,amoviethatliterallymakesviewerscommitsuicide,itissogoddamndisturbing,andIknowit’sreallyametaphorforthepowerofartandtheresponsibilitiesoftheartistbuttheycan’tgetawayfromthefactthatwe’regoingtohavetoseeatleastlittlepeeksofthisnotoriousmovie,anditwilldisappointus。

Like,youthink,“howisthisworsethanBride?

Wars?



FearDotComWhydidIwatchthis?

Becauseitwascalled“FearDot?

Com。



JohnLandis:FamilyThiswasgood。

ThoughIwasthinking?

—?

wasGeorgeWendthisfirstchoice?

DidJohnGoodmanturnhimdown?

WouldJohnCandyhavemaybebeenamazingin?

this?

AcoupleLostepisodesPartofmy“attempttofigureoutwhatthefusswasaboutyearsafterthefact”series。

Iguessitseemed?

ok!

FollowthatBirdDidyouknowthatthesongsinthismoviewerecomposedbyVanDyke?

Parks?

JoeDante:HomecomingThe“politics”ofthismovieareheavy-handedandkindofgoofybutitisotherwiseaprettygreatlittlezombiemoviethatisalsoagainstthe?

war。

AfterHoursSO?

CLASSIC。

SomerandomSNLspecialsThe1986–1990eraisalwaysunderrepresentedinthese。

(And,obviously,the1980–1986eraisnevermentioned,atall,exceptforacoupleEddieMurphysketches。

SometimesIwonderifitwasasbadaswehavebeentold!

Oldpeople:was?

it?

)

ClearandPresentDangerHah,man,thisisactuallyprettygood,butitissodamnlong。

TheideaofanactingdeputydirectoroftheCIAliterallyhavingnounderstandingofwhattheCIAactuallydoesandhasalwaysdoneishilarious。

HanSoloisall,theCIAIjoinedwouldneverillegallystagemilitaryactionsinLatinAmericaandyouarelike“sir,youmustbeaTERRIBLEanalyst,becauseyoudon’tevenreadnewspapersapparently。



Godzilla(1996)Yesss!

LOVEDIT。

Whydidpeoplehateit?

BecauseGodzilladidn’tbreathefireandwasn’tthattall?

Isthatseriouslywhy?

Becauseitisgreat。

FightingadorablebabygodzillasinMadisonSquareGarden!

JeanfuckingReno!

Whatisnotto?

like?

ClashoftheTitansThebestpartofthismovieisthatadorablerobotowl,obviously,thoughMaggieSmithispretty?

kickass。

WaterworldHah,thiswasliketheworstthingwethoughtwe’deversee?

IthasDennisHopper,ithasJet-Skistuntsperformedbyactualhumanstuntmen,ithashilariouslyineptattemptsatmakingsatiricalpointsaboutsociety。

It’sgreat。

Italsonevermakesanysense。

Iammorbidlycuriousabouttheliketen-hourextendedversion。

AretheirhystericalintenseWaterworldfanssomewhereonthisinternetthatcangetitreleased?

ZeroEffectThisislikethemost1998movie?

EVER。

SNLepisodesfromseasons2and4Youforgetwhatanawesomestableoffemaletalenttheyhadbackthenbecause,youknow,theassholedudesgotalltheattentionandcredit。

Therewasonesketchthatwasjustajoke-freemusicalnumberbyJaneCurtinandLorraineNewmanandGidaRadnerandLilyTomlin(whowasnotthehost!

shejustshowedup!

)anditwasawesome。

ThisonewhereEdKochdoesthemonologue,too!

So?

‘70s。

ThatMitchellandWebbLookItisashamethatweonlygetlikeonesketchcomedyshow,hereinAmerica。

ThisisaprettygoodshowwithsomereallyfunnysketchesbuttheyrepeatalotofcharactersthatmaybeyouhavetobeEnglishtofind?

amusing。

Ladiesandgentlemen:Alex?


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